Stop! In The Name of Love

It was a crisp, fall morning. The leaves were inching toward the change from green to auburn. As I turned the corner in my 1990 Buick, I found myself pulling up behind a school bus. The morning route was under way and I would get to follow for awhile.

The school bus was at a stop to pick up a reluctant student. The lights were flashing. The stop sign extended. The teenager stepped on and the bus took off down the road.

Two parts surprised me:
+ The warning lights stayed on.
+ The stop sign stayed extended.

"Maybe the next stop is just down the block," I thought. The bus gained speed down the street, past a new road, and continued on. Lights flashing. Stop sign slicing through the breeze.

My route led me to turn from trailing this interesting sight, so I glanced to take one last look. No change. Every vehicle this bus driver would meet for the next few blocks would force others to respond to a moving, flashing, stop sign.

As I readjusted my vision to the road, the thought came, "Do teenagers see me that way?"

Ouch.

Am I a moving, loud signal of STOP to the youth I minister to? Stop talking while the youth leader is talking. Stop being quiet during the Bible study discussion. Stop doing the "bad" things. Stop spending time with the "wrong" crowd. Stop...stop...STOP!

This blog is not about discipline. That has its place and needs to be a well-handled area in a healthy youth ministry, for the sake of the teens and the honor of the Lord.

This blog is about loving Jesus and loving teenagers. It's the great commandment (Matt. 22) and the great commission (Matt. 28). This blog is about communicating truth about sin with a tear of pain, and grace with a tear of hope. Because we know the reality of both.

A potential volunteer visiting a youth group was met at the door afterwards by the youth director. He asked her, "Tell me about your experience tonight." She looked him in the eyes and said, "I fell in love."

A little startled, he asked, "With who?"

"With ALL of them," came the reply.

How do you show Jesus' love to teens?

5Ws and How: Parts III-VI

This "Catch Up" blog is brought to you by Heinz...

In the midst of summer vacation, (why do those words go together again?!?), I have stopped in some of the following exciting American cities:

* Ames, IA
* Blue Springs, MO

* Belle Plain, KS

* Caddo, OK
* Galveston, TX - the beach is beautiful
* Joplin, MO

* Rowena, SD

* Fairmont, MN

...but before I can blog on all that good stuff. I'm helplessly behind again. I loathe leaving items unfinished, so here is my "catch up" on the series I started earlier:

5Ws...Part III
WHERE Is The Best Place To Stay In Cataract, Wisconsin?
Yes, you will have your choice of 13 luxury hotels in this lovely community, but do not fall for them. The only 5-Star place "Life, Liberty & the Pursuit" endorses is the Unverzagt Bed & Breakfast. We had a blast staying with Pastor Jonathan and Hope and fam.

What were the totals again? 4 Adults and 14 Children...no, 15 Kids. It didn't seem like that many. It was great to share with the Christ Is Lord Church family. I love that your name reflects your approach to understanding Jesus.

Your choice in youth directors...well, we can visit more about that later. What am I to say? Daniel's one of my best friends.

5Ws...Part IV
WHEN To Start Looking For A Youth Director?

Today.

I suppose I should expand on that. Over the first 12 months in the position, I notice that numbers of students in a certain age group often push a congregation to make the leap to pursue a youth director. That's understandable. I am just wondering since the majority of the 33 million American teenagers are NOT connected to a local Bible-believing, Jesus-preaching church, when will that number push us to do something?

5Ws...Part V

WHO To Visit When You Travel To The Ukraine?
In my office this spring, I had Pastor Tomasz Chmiel (EEMN Missionary to Ukraine) and Pastor Alexander Gross (German Lutheran Church in Ukraine). It was an tremendous time to share about what the Lord is doing in today's teens in different parts of the globe. Tomasz and his wife Miriam have recently returned to eastern Europe after being in Mpls. Here's their website -- http://www.chmiels.com/.

5Ws...Part VI
WHAT To Do When An Infant About To Be Baptized Spits Up?
It was my pleasure to baptize the third child of a couple that I knew in Fergus. I had been asked to baptize child #1 and child #2 during our years there, so when the request came for child #3, we were ready to go. The private ceremony was warm and informal. After reading the powerful Scriptures about our sin nature and Jesus' promise, the child promptly deposited some liquid on mom. Burp rag in place, neither mom nor child were marked by it. I turned to those assembled and said, "In some ways, that response is so appropriate. We are guilty of our sin. It is right there -- mess and all. By God's Word, we need Jesus to clean us up. It is all of Him!" With that the child received the grace promised through being grafted into Christ.

Next time, I'll move on to something actually from summer.
I can't remember...is it 'catsup' or 'ketchup'?

5Ws and How - Part Two

Why was the "Amazing Race Across Astoria" really amazing?

Jason Norlien and I traveled to Astoria, Oregon the last weekend in April for an excellent youth rally. Our friends at Bethany Free Lutheran put us up for the time there staying with the world-famous Editor of the Lutheran Ambassador, Pastor Craig Johnson.

Having a couple hours to visit in Craig's sports-red Madza as we traversed the Washington and Oregon roads along the Columbia River, I thought I would press him for some information.








Holt: "So what's it like being so powerful?"

Johnson: "What do you mean?"

Holt: "Hello!! The Editor of the Lutheran Ambassador?"

Johnson: "What are you talking about?"

Holt: "Pastor Johnson, are you denying that you are involved with that wonderful magazine of the AFLC?"

Johnson: "I have been instructed not to talk to the press. No comment."








Hmmm...peculiar. Pastor Craig gladly visited about every other subject under the sun, but not the Lutheran Ambassador. I will have to plumb that topic in a later blog.



Friday night was relaxed and enjoyable as students and youth groups traveled to the church for the kickoff. Laughter. Snacks. Games. Mocking the guest speaker. Apparently pictures you place on Facebook are public!

Saturday morning was dedicated to sessions. I did my thing. The students were gracious. Pastor Luke Long did a great session on applying the theme. Then came Saturday afternoon: "The Amazing Race Across Astoria".

The intro was straightforward and clear. We were to be placed in teams with driver's that knew the community. All directions (left, right, stop and buy a Wild Cherry Pepsi) were to be delivered by the team. The driver would go straight without team instructions. Each stop would provide a new clue/location to go to.

Soon after being divided up, we were off. Up and down streets. Around the corner. Back and forth. Back and forth. And for our team, back and forth at least one more time. Why? Since stopping to ask directions from the local gas station employee led to wrong info.

Finally, we came to the last location on end of the pier. The van stopped a few hundred yards away and the whole team had to cross the finish line on foot. Some teams ran. I walked as one of our team members wasn't coming down the pier. Too much back and forth created a car-sickness situation came the report. We finally met the judge and designer at the end.

"Congratulations. You're 4th."

Fourth out of six teams. Yes, Jason N's team was first. (Do you want to rub it in again, Norlien?) But our team had a blast, as did the other teams. Even if the race didn't go well, each team had a great story about their adventures.

As I listened to the tales being told, I thought about what struck me as the most amazing part of the "Amazing Race Across Astoria". The judge and designer of the race was a senior high student. My new friend struck me as the modest type so I won't share his name here -- all of us who were there know him -- but the who isn't my reason for blogging.

Many churches and youth groups when a BIG event comes leaves the planning and implementation to the adults. They're responsible. They'll get it done.

As we are concerned about developing maturing, servant-leaders, who will follow Jesus, are there settings that we can allow for them to lead? Can't the local congregation be a great place for a teenage believer to stretch his or her wings to pray, to plan, and to lead?

Will it be polished? Not always. Will there be bumps in students leading? Yes. Will it be worth it? We will see in a generation as these teens continue to live what they are being taught now. More than knowledge, let us give students experiences, skills, and attitudes that reflect a lifestyle and lifetime of following Jesus.

When the race was over, I asked Pastor Craig about the gas station that our team stopped at to get directions. It seemed odd that the store worker didn't know where a location was in his town. It was less than a mile from the spot we were trying to get to. Didn't that seem strange to him as well?

"No comment," came the reply.

I'm sensing a trend.

5Ws and How - Part One

How Do You Get Through A Meeting When Your Head Is About To Explode?

Step 1 - Recognize with your friends at the beginning that you are not feeling well.

Step 2 - Refrain from descriptions of how the headache is or how the stomach pains pinch, since that only seems to make them stronger, and breathing becomes much more difficult.

Step 3 - When asked a question, reply with a question.
For example,
Q: "Jason, what is happening with ________?"
A: "Didn't we table __________ until August 2011?"

Step 4 - When you find your mind wandering from the topic at hand, try to focus.
My thoughts bounce through everything under the sun ("Why are White Castle burgers so greasy and yet so yummy?"..."Does the quadradic equation really work every single time?"..."Why was it that Tears for Fears really didn't end up ruling the world in the 1980s?" ) , which results in a sort of stream-of-consciousness which makes it difficult to focus.

Step 5 - At least during long discussions.

Step 6 - This likely should come earlier in the list (like #1 maybe?!?), but pray.

Step 7 - A lot.

Step 8 - Sleep.

Step 9 - Ask forgiveness for sleeping.

Step 10 - Leave...before you fall asleep again.

April, May & More

Here is my catchy starting sentence...In the upcoming weeks, I will be blogging on all the great activities from April (and part of May!) that I missed writing on as they unfolded.

Yep, behind the times once again.

Dear Reader, during May you will find:
+ how to get through a meeting when your head feels it is about to explode
+ why the "Amazing Race Across Astoria" really was amazing
+ where the best place to stay is in Cataract, Wisconsin
+ when to start looking for a youth director
+ who to visit when you travel to the Ukraine
+ what to do when an infant is about to be baptized and he/she spits up all over mom/dad's shirt

I can already tell you are wondering about the last one.

Patience, my friend...patience.

Which based on my blogging speed means that early 2009 I will get to that one. Ok - skip the patience and comment on this blog, so I am reminded to keep writing!

Jason

Confessions of a Deliquent Blogger

Day 1 - I threw a new blog out there yesterday! Yes! Nice job, Holt.

Day 3 - It's only been a couple days since my last blog...I can wait a little bit.


Day 6 - Oh...it's almost been a week since my last blog. I was hoping for more interaction from my last one. Let's see if more than one person bites.

Day 10 - Only one person bit. Hmmm...now I've got to be creative.

Day 13 - Not creative today.

Day 14 - Or today.

Day 18 - When am I ever creative again?

Day 20 - I should really write something since I mentioned it to my friends in Northern MN at the Bemidji retreat.

Day 21 - Wow! Three weeks have past. Does anyone care?

Day 22 - Hey! Someone mentioned my blog today. Oh no! That means that they see that it's not been added to for so long.

Day 25 - It's March. Spring should bring some inspiration.

Day 29 - I was wrong.

Day 32 - Easter is coming up. I can write something on that...

Day 36 - Apparently not.

Day 41 - Maybe people will think my blog about Youth Group during Lent was intended to be pondered for ALL of Lent...

Day 44 - Happy Easter! Jesus is alive!
(Can't use that Lent excuse anymore)

Day 47 - Check my NCAA bracket or write a blog...bracket or blog...bracket! Go UNC!

Day 50 - A blog describing how poor a blogger I am...that's it!

Give Up Youth Ministry for Lent?

Youth ministry does not begin and end with the weekly youth group meeting. That being said, it is a significant piece of building relationships to make disciples of Jesus.

So my question is "What does Lent do to your youth ministry schedule?"

In my visits over the years (within the AFLC and outside of it), I get three general responses:

#1) No Change
The church season comes and the church season goes. The youth ministry schedule stays the same. Blessed be the name of consistency!

#2) Big Days, Big Changes
Ash Wednesday, Good Friday, and Easter bring some radical changes (i.e. Ash Wed service is in place of youth group, Good Friday cancels out youth group for the week, etc.) The youth ministry schedule celebrates the big church calendar days with the rest of the congregation. Blessed be the name of celebration!

#3) Complete Shift
A weekly lenten service replaces Wednesday youth group (if that's when you have it) for the weeks leading up to Easter. It's as if we ask teens to give up youth group for Lent. Blessed be the name of lenten services!

I do have some personal preferences, and from years growing up until now I have been involved in, understand the value of, and ministered in all three. But your approach is much more interesting to me.

So, what's going on? What's good and what's difficult?

"Super" Applies to New England

My dad delivers mail to Tom Brady's grandpa. He has brought boxes of memorabilia to Tom's grandpa sent through USPS. Being a rural mail carrier, when something bigger than the mailbox is sent my dad gets to navigate the long driveway to get the box to the front door. Hardly a claim to fame, I find it one of the most motivating reasons to watch this year's Super Bowl because New England has been overpowering.

It has been a horrible year for me in making NFL predictions, (my fantasy football team placed last in the regular season for my league) but this one should be pretty clean cut.

Patriots 77, Giants 17

OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but I don't think NY can play with NE. Yes, I know the regular season finale was close. Yes, I know the Giants look like a different team in the playoffs. Yes, I know Tom Brady is limping around...

But NE has been unstoppable (CC: 18-0). NE has broken records left and right (CC: Brady's TDs, Moss' TDs, most points in a season, and so on). NE has experience and talent (CC: 3 other Super Bowl rings).

And New York! They've got the wrong Manning (CC: Peyton won last year). They've got the wrong mentality (CC: Buress' comments about NY WRs equal to NE WRs?!?). They were beat 41-10 by the VIKINGS!

Even Packer fans can appreciate that reality. It looks like "Super" doesn't describe the upcoming NFL Championship but rather the New England Patriots.

My dad should get ready to make another delivery.

February Moment

This picture is our AFLC Youth Min "Moment" of the month. Our friends at the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (www.cpyu.org) highlighted this Diesel ad that appeared in the February 2008 issue of Teen Vogue (p. 11). It is intended to take a snapshot of the culture and to interact on it as we seek to shepherd students.

What thoughts does it bring to you about today's teens and youth ministry?

Join the discussion!

7 Kinds of Visitors

After we had a wonderful time with some young adults from college in our home, our oldest daughter Susanna (age 9) penned the following words...

THERE ARE SEVEN KINDS OF VISITORS

1) Adults who you enjoy and are sad when they leave.
{This description fit who we had just seen.}

2) Adults who are fun for the first half hour and then get boring.

3) Adults who you have no idea what they are saying.

4) Kids who you enjoy and are sad when they leave.

5) Kids who are fun for the first half hour and then get boring.

6) Kids who you have no idea what they are saying.

7) Salespeople.


If I was smart, I would stop blogging right now and acknowledge that I will never be as good a writer as my precious preteen.

In addition to Jen and I laughing hysterically, I thought of how do students see me as a youth guy. Am I an adult that they "enjoy and are sad" when I leave? Am I building relationships or burning bridges (no slight to Project 86!)?

Should a person recommend a resource they've never read? I've always passed on titles that I've found especially engaging, i.e. "Here Am I, Lord. Send Aaron", so I won't stop now.

Jonathan McKee's book "Do They Run When They See You Coming?" came to mind after Susanna's insightful list. It speaks to this topic.

On the same note, how do you handle what one youth worker friend calls the "dance"? You know, the ways of speaking teen-ese without being seen as a poser. I especially remember about a year ago using "bounce" as in "I gotta bounce" (AKA "I see that it is time for me to depart" for my English major bride) with four teens and one of them didn't know me very well. The three that knew me didn't blink -- the one that didn't know me kind of smirked/laughed and said out loud, "He said, 'Bounce'."

Ahhh, the life of a youth worker...

Youth Workers Retreat

Wow! You guys are amazing!

It was a blast to interact with 64 people from across the country that are investing in the lives of teens. My heart smiled as I overheard conversations about real life personal issues and about heartfelt concern for teenagers. Thanks for being transparent about your needs and your students needs. The prayer times...the worship times (thanks, Matt!)...the break-an-ankle gym times...the laughing times...I must have the best job in the world!

Dave & Rennie -- what can I say?!? Aren't they fantastic? I received comments like "they are so on target" or "they really show heart and give skills" or "can we have them back next year?"

Our planning group will discuss within the next month our 13th Annual YWR -- January 9-11, 2009 (that's weird to see in print) -- including trainers, layout, and location in HAWAII!...just kidding...exotic Wisconsin because of our tremendous service at the ARC.

Do you have ideas? I want to hear them.

NFL Playoffs

I'm guessing you are looking for the authority on the NFL Playoffs. You've come to the right place!

The Wild Card round is often entertaining, but tends to not have a big impact on the Super Bowl qualifiers (except the Pittsburgh Steelers of two seasons ago).

Predictions:

This Weekend
Seattle 24, Packers 20
Dallas 31, New York 10
Indy 27, San Diego 14
Patriots 41, Jacksonville 24

Next Weekend
Dallas 20, Seattle 17
Patriots 30, Indy 28

Super Bowl...you'll have to check back!

Soy Sauce & Sin

My wife Jennifer enjoys Chinese food. I know that Chinese food can always be a solid contributor to a date night that blesses her.

Recently Jen made some for supper. Do you like soy sauce on your Chinese food? Our family does. "Liquid Salt" is a big part of any Asian cuisine served at our table.

Our youngest Micah (age 3) hasn't quite got the handle on "a little" soy sauce. If Jen and I aren't careful, Micah will grab the small glass bottle and drown his entire plate in black liquid salt.

This last time Jen served Chinese food Micah did great...kind of. I've been coaching him to do two quick dashes on his food. Micah, eyeing me all the way, carefully applied two short pours on his food.

Success! The moment I started to compliment him on his effort he reached up his other hand with the small red cap in it, and licked the cover!


Uggghh...so close to obedience. It got me thinking about communicating God's Word to teens and the realities of sin.

How many times do we share Biblical guidance and give students the sense that the ultimate goal is an outward behavior -- like two proper dashes of soy sauce?

How many times do we fail to acknowledge the old nature's desires to lick the cap?

As we seek to shepherd students, it seems important to recognize the old nature and putting off the old self (Eph. 4:20-22) and then putting on the new self (Eph. 4:23-24), which leads to instructions on godliness in His life and His freedom (Eph. 4:25-32).

Yes, we desire godliness in lives of the teens we serve! Yes, we know that obedience carries blessing in walking faithfully with Jesus. But no, may we not slip into a religiousity that fails to keep Christ as the foundation of faith and obedience.

Maybe it's just me, but if a teen's understanding of spiritual maturity is outward conformity without the source coming from their relationship with Jesus, then we will raise a generation of Pharisees.

That's a scary thought to me.

Moment of the Month

The pursuit of youth ministry leads us to offer a Youth Ministry MOMENT of the Month on the AFLC Youth Min website - www.aflc.org/youth



January's installment is from the band NEEDTOBREATHE. Their release "Shine On" paints a beautiful picture for us as believers called to radiate the light of Jesus.



How bright are you today?

The Silent Trip

One morning traveling in to the office in the last month, I noticed in the rear view mirror a teen girl riding (likely to school) with her dad. A pretty common scene, right?

What struck me in the moments that I surveyed the two of them was silence.

The dad appeared lost in thought -- thoughts about work, thoughts about money, and so on. The teen did her part, too -- the daze created by her iPod playlist with earphones cemented in place.

The traffic moved in such a manner that over the next four or five minutes I was able to periodically check in on my parent-student test case for communication.

Still silence.

My thought (probably rooted in being a dad myself) was, "Why doesn't he say something? Why doesn't he try to connect?"

The traffic shifted and my observation group was gone. I yearned for them to communicate. I hungered for them to connect. Why is it so hard for parents and teens to talk? Does it have to be that way?

A resource that I've found helpful is "How to Get Your Teen to Talk to You"
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/search?author=Kent%20Julian&detailed_search=1&action=Search

How do you encourage real communication between parents and teens?
How do you engage in effective communication?

~ Jason